my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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