i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
