xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
