Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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