Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
