hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
