There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
