I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
