There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Say something about gay babies.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
