Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
