You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You took a bar mat shot.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize