id be glad to
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize