Sry I called you an 8
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
