his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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