Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We talked him into tasing himself.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize