Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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