You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
