i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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