someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
