it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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