What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
