Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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