Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
jump out the window naked night went bad
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
