You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
