She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
