Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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