i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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