you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
