I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
