Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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