no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just found a bag of teeth...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
