Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
