That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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