At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think people are normalizing furries
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
