Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
