You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize