You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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