Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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