just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I love having hate sex.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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