apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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