Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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