summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
