go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
