i barfeds in our rink
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize