a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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