I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
