Three words: puerto rican gang bang
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
