Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
