He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize