So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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