My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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