Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
