Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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