A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
