would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
