well you can't waste a boner
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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