awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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