If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
