You were right. It hurts to walk today.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
