he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
