I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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