I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
