Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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