The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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