Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
