then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
