pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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