I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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