Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize