Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
