This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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