I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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