I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize