you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
